


Leandra's Burden

by Willowflower_Waterlily



Series: Ghosts and Guilt (Leandra Bethany Hawke, series 1) [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:52:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4385609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowflower_Waterlily/pseuds/Willowflower_Waterlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leandra returns home and feels the resentment her siblings feel for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leandra's Burden

Walking down the trail her father had found years ago, Leandra tries to shake off the resentment she felt at the house. She failed them all, and she knows her brother and sister feel the same way by the looks they give her when they think she isn’t looking. They will never forgive her for what happened while she was away.

Stepping into the clearing, she forces herself to not run to her father’s grave. Kneeling in front of it, Leandra lets her emotions flow through her. Tears fall freely from her eyes as she delicately touches the stone. “I am so sorry. I failed you and mother. I failed everyone. It’s all my fault, I wasn’t here. I should have been here.”

Leandra wipes her eyes and touches the stone once more before standing. “You didn’t want me to go to the Inquisition. I should have listened to you.” Setting dried flowers in front of the stone, she gives the grave one last glance before walking back to the house.

 

Junior paces in front of the house, waiting for his sister to return. He knows she’s seen the looks he and Solana have been giving her. They both know it isn’t her fault any of this happened, but she wasn’t there. She didn’t have to watch their father drift away from them. Leandra wasn’t there to bury their father, Mia, Cullen, and Branson. He knows it’s not her fault, but the resentment building inside of him overwhelms him at times.

“Junior,” Leandra’s voice breaks through Junior’s thoughts. He stops pacing and stares at her. He wants to go to his sister, to comfort her, but his resentment freezes him in place. “I am sorry.”

“You should be,” Junior growls, surprised at how angry he sounds, “You weren’t here. Maybe if you were, you could have saved father.” Junior watches Leandra wince, the pain etched into her features breaking his heart. Reaching out to her, Junior wishes the words hadn’t passed his lips.

“You’re right.” Leandra whispers, tears welling in her eyes. “I failed our family. I can only pray that some day you, Solana, and Lucy will forgive me.” Leandra rushes past Junior into the house before he can grab for her. Before he can take back the words he so carelessly spoke.

 

Solana crawls into bed beside Leandra, wrapping her arms around her. “It’s not your fault.” Solana gently wipes Leandra’s tears away. “I don’t blame you for any of it. I love you sister. Please don’t succumb to your grief.” _As father did_ , her heart seems to add, beating out each word to her mind.

“You should blame me.” Leandra turns on to her back, facing away from Solana. “If I had asked for you all to stay at Skyhold longer, you wouldn’t have been here when the Venatori attacked. We would still have mother and father.” A shudder ripples through Leandra’s body as a sob escapes her throat. “If I hadn’t joined the Inquisition, I would have been here to help. I am the eldest, who else should protect the family if not myself?”

Feeling as though her heart is ripping to shreds, Solana clings to her older sister and cries. “Come with us to Skyhold. We four are all we have left.”

“No,” Leandra replies, keeping her gaze focused on the window. “You three deserve better than a failure like me.”

 

Leandra watches her siblings and Marric ride away from the house for the last time. When they are out of sight, she quickly walks toward their father’s grave. Leandra feels eyes on her, those who have died because she wasn’t there to protect them. Reaching the clearing, she runs to the mound her father’s ashes lay beneath. Kneeling before the stone once more, she feels herself surrounded by the ghosts and guilt her actions have created.


End file.
